Changes That Take Your Breath Away
A lot changes in a very short amount of time with stage IV Colon Cancer. In September, we were excited that Ray was able to start taking the cancer fighting drug Avastin (bevacizumab) and a little apprehensive about the change in his chemotherapy from FOLFIRI (5-FU and leucovorin with irinotecan) to FOLFOX (5-FU and leucovorin with oxaliplatin). The reason for our apprehension was the nerve damage caused by Oxaliplatin. For Ray, the Oxaliplatin caused a "pins and needles" feeling in his fingers when he touched something cold, and in his mouth and throat when he drank something cold. The sensitivity lasted for three or four days after his chemotherapy infusion. Thankfully, it was more of an annoyance than anything else. Fatigue caused by the Oxaliplatin was a bigger factor. It became greater and lasted longer with each treatment.
On December 15th Ray woke up in excruciating pain. I rushed him to the Windsor Regional Cancer Centre . His oncologist Dr. Kanjeekal did an immediate ultrasound followed by a CT Scan. The results revealed that Ray's cancer had grown. The chemo/Avastin treatments were not working. It was a devastating blow to both of us. Ray was given a morphine patch plus Dilaudid pills to manage the pain. Dr. Kanjeekal made the decision to switch Ray's chemo from FOLFOX to Xeloda (capecitabine) - an oral chemotherapy drug taken for 14 days then a 7 day break - and continue with Avastin. She also made an appointment for Ray at the Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto on January 15th to see if he is eligible for any clinical trials they're running. The fact that Dr. Kanjeekal did not take away all our hope that day and did not give up on Ray that day, truly saved us from complete emotional destruction that day.
The last two weeks have been Ray's toughest battle to date, and each day the battle gets tougher. He had to have the strength of his pain medication doubled and he's had a dramatic loss of weight. I understand now, why some people give up the fight. Ray has been at that point a couple of times, but each time I've watched him pick himself up emotionally and keep on fighting. He absolutely amazes me.
We don't know what will happen from day to day now. We do know, however, that our love for one another is greater than we ever dreamed possible, and that each and every moment we have together is worth more than any amount of money could buy.
Terri McPherson Buckley
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Terri you and Ray had this soulful magical love for each other. I can see it in your pictures. I can hear it in your letters. And I know when you pray to ZGod that Love is still there waiting for God To return and take us all home where we can meet our loved ones agai! (Comment this)