Fight of a Lifetime

Ray died peacefully at home on January 7th, 2007 with his wife and best friend Terri, and his faithful dog Tucker by his side. Greatly loved and greatly missed by his step-daughter Jaime Lynn and husband Scott, his step-son Christopher and girlfriend Laura, his parents Jerry and Kay Buckley, and his half-sister Kristine Gratton.

Ray was the proud Papa of three precious grandchildren, Caitlynd, Joshua and Lacy. He will be especially missed by Caitlynd, who named him Papa and wrapped his heart around her heart forever.

Beloved son-in-law of Doug and Joan McPherson. Brother-in-law of Wendy McPherson, Vicki and David Stokes, Brent and Kori McPherson. Uncle to Aaron, Cori, Micheal, Megan, Nicki, Jeremy and Laura. Nephew of Rosemond Mullins, Al & Jeri Casetti, Barney & June Casetti, Pete & Audrey Casetti, and Rose Garlow. Ray will also be sadly missed by the many cousins he dearly loved.

The absence of Ray's laughter, his beautiful smile, his wonderful hugs and his quick wit, will leave a void of deep sadness in the countless lives of those who loved him. One day however, that sorrow will turn into joyful memories they will always carry in their hearts.

Ray was a member of Fox Glen Golf Club. His passion for golf could not be dampened by cancer. He played the best golf of his life last summer, scoring his personal best and winning the most tournaments he's ever won in a single season. Over the course of his illness, the management, staff and members of Fox Glen Golf Club truly became a second family to him.

Ray was adopted into the hearts of a new family last year, the compassionate and absolutely fabulous staff at the Windsor Regional Cancer Centre. Dr. Sindu Kanjeekal, who Ray fondly called 'doc', went above and beyond the call of duty until the very end.

Ray died exactly the way he prayed he would die. God answered Ray's prayer in full - and then some. He passed away at home, in his recliner, in his sleep, and more than appropriately, on football Sunday.

In expression of sympathy, memorial donations can be made to the Windsor and Essex Cancer Centre Foundation.

Ray's Funeral was held on Thursday January 11th, 2007 at Heritage Park Alliance Church in Windsor, Ontario. Officiated by Pastor Garth Leno. Family and friends gathered after the funeral at Fox Glen Golf Club.

You can leave a message for Terri and her family in Ray's online Condolence Book

A lot changes in a very short amount of time with stage IV Colon Cancer. In September, we were excited that Ray was able to start taking the cancer fighting drug Avastin (bevacizumab) and a little apprehensive about the change in his chemotherapy from FOLFIRI (5-FU and leucovorin with irinotecan) to FOLFOX (5-FU and leucovorin with oxaliplatin). The reason for our apprehension was the nerve damage caused by Oxaliplatin. For Ray, the Oxaliplatin caused a "pins and needles" feeling in his fingers when he touched something cold, and in his mouth and throat when he drank something cold. The sensitivity lasted for three or four days after his chemotherapy infusion. Thankfully, it was more of an annoyance than anything else. Fatigue caused by the Oxaliplatin was a bigger factor. It became greater and lasted longer with each treatment.

On December 15th Ray woke up in excruciating pain. I rushed him to the Windsor Regional Cancer Centre . His oncologist Dr. Kanjeekal did an immediate ultrasound followed by a CT Scan. The results revealed that Ray's cancer had grown. The chemo/Avastin treatments were not working. It was a devastating blow to both of us. Ray was given a morphine patch plus Dilaudid pills to manage the pain. Dr. Kanjeekal made the decision to switch Ray's chemo from FOLFOX to Xeloda (capecitabine) - an oral chemotherapy drug taken for 14 days then a 7 day break - and continue with Avastin. She also made an appointment for Ray at the Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto on January 15th to see if he is eligible for any clinical trials they're running. The fact that Dr. Kanjeekal did not take away all our hope that day and did not give up on Ray that day, truly saved us from complete emotional destruction that day.

The last two weeks have been Ray's toughest battle to date, and each day the battle gets tougher. He had to have the strength of his pain medication doubled and he's had a dramatic loss of weight. I understand now, why some people give up the fight. Ray has been at that point a couple of times, but each time I've watched him pick himself up emotionally and keep on fighting. He absolutely amazes me.

We don't know what will happen from day to day now. We do know, however, that our love for one another is greater than we ever dreamed possible, and that each and every moment we have together is worth more than any amount of money could buy.

Terri McPherson Buckley

terri@wisehearts.com